Rise of the Cougar

I went out with a friend of mine on Saturday night – let’s call her Abi. The aim was to have a couple of glasses of wine and a catch up natter before heading over to a bar / club to flex the old dancing skills. It started off happily enough at a trendy bar in Battersea, but went downhill shortly afterwards at a nearby pub. Abi was dressed in a gorgeous little dress, and I was a bit more conservative in my jeans and floaty top… on the whole I thought we were looking pretty good! We were soon approached by a group of young men dressed in various shades of pink. Mr Offender was wearing fuchsia hot pants, a purple-ish cowboy hat and a bright pink feather boa. He approached Abi with all the confidence of a freshly inebriated youth, and out of his mouth came the following two words: “Oooh, cougars!” There are no words to describe the abject mortification on Abi’s face. “EXCUSE ME! JUST HOW OLD DO YOU THINK WE ARE???” Mr Offender: “Err… 33 / 34?!” Mr Offender was therefore correct, for both of us are 33. But actually guessing a woman’s age correctly – and on the upper side of it… well that’s grounds for a bar fight isn’t it! I wasn’t nearly as offended as Abi (who is now seriously debating the pros and cons of being seeing in a bar after dark) but I do have to wonder if we have crossed some sort of line into mature ladyhood? It’s alright for Abi – she’s engaged! But jeez louise, I’m as single as they get! I will note 5 things:

* I have recently been asked for my ID twice in as many weeks, buying wine. Just saying..

* Mr Offender and his gang were not exactly babies either – I think they were on a stag?!

* At the following club I was asked for my number by a (cute, tall, owner-of-a-6-pack) 27 year old. Score!

* I am facing up to the sad reality that I dance waaaaay better in my head than reality would seem to indicate.

* My sister is trying to set me up with a 26 year old. Go the Cougars!


7 Responses to Rise of the Cougar

  1. Britt says:

    I thought cougars were from, like, 40 onwards!!!?

    • LadyK says:

      Me fekking too! 45 plus – think Demi Moore and Courtney Cox – hotties, but pushing 50! I think it’s a term that’s being dangerously bandied about by the uneducated or misinformed! Ha!

  2. Patrick says:

    The moment I saw the subject line of “Rise of the cougars” I pondered at the wisdom of reading this, but as usual, it was all good. Some guys really need to work on their opening lines, dont they? I suppose “Does your Dad know you’re out this late?” would also be a bit far fetched though, hey? LOL!!

  3. Carl Hoppe says:

    Lady K- Cougar is a term for a HOT woman!!! you can never escape getting older, so- enjoy it in style and the fact that YOU still have IT! You are still attractive to “little idoits” and ALSO the older far more accomplished gentleman. One day “George Clooney” is going to see the attractive, professional, confident lady sipping a chardonnay somehere with her friends and ask if he can interest you in a glass of Crystal on the way to dinner in Paris in his private jet? Why??? Because men like that are attracted to BRAINS and BEAUTY! And you’ve got it all!

  4. niamhdom says:

    yeah just wait till they say, hey granma what you doing out so late. THEN you can get bummed. For now, just be glad they thought you could teach them a thing or two. haha!

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